2.08.2010
budding There are green buds a-buddin on the tree outside my window!!!
I'm really proud of this song. It does end suddenly though. Please listen. Tell me what you think.
Air (that's not it's real name)
2 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 4:25 PM
can't get that trumpet out of my head Went for a gruelling mountain bike ride today. Like always, I really didn't want to go this morning. I was so unmotivated, and felt mentally unprepared. EVERY time I feel mentally unprepared, but every time I feel so unbelievably awesome afterwards. It was foggy this time. There was no one else on the trails. Sometimes when we'd stop, we'd hear the patter of rain on the leaves above us, but it never made it through the canopy. I love being in a forest when it's foggy, and the bird calls sound so loud and melancholy. LOVE. Cedars were meant to be seen through a mist of fog. Anyways, this time I think something really clicked in my head! I think I overcame a barrier, because instead of going and stopping, going and stopping, we were able to just go right through things and keep going. Lots of things don't scare me anymore, but I still feel terrified most of the time. It helps that Andreas is ALWAYS pushing me. I feel like, on the mountain bike rides, I'm just continually challenged. I finish one hard thing, and then there's a new challenge like right away.
Anyways, wow that was a work out. My body is very happy with me right now.
I've decided to stop stressing about work. One of my bosses, I've always felt didn't like me, and I feel like I'm in some bizarre vague battle with her...and I've just decided to not. I don't need to battle anyone, I'm just going to do my job and not worry about it. I don't know what I've ever done in the first place to earn her dislike, so it's useless to stress about it. Right now I just feel like letting go of it.
I just ran some unbelievably delicious burritos from Hernandez over to Andreas at work, and his buddy was on the phone with Paul I think, and Andreas thinks that Paul's going to turn down their offer. It's sounding like he wants them to buy out the shop over a time period of 5 years, and neither of them are willing to do that. Andreas is going to call me when he finds out for sure though. If it doesn't work with Paul, he still is thinking of opening up his own little bike shop anyways, but this way would be better. I hope they are able to negotiate something!
I think I'm going to go out for a photography walk.
1 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 2:14 PM
2.07.2010
I love being a girl http://www.ted.com/talks/eve_ensler_embrace_your_inner_girl.html
I broke down out of nowhere at the end part of this and started sobbing like my heart was broken. I love being a girl! Please watch it.
3 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 1:08 PM
2.06.2010
fiery foxy I have to name my songs before I write them on garage band, so often times the names won't make sense. This one is pretty basic, and short, but I think it's haunting and pretty all the same and I'm really proud of my percussion. Once again, it's not professional quality by any means, and please no criticism. Suggestions I'll take. Also, I'd like to add vocals to my songs, but I don't even want to TRY to write lyrics, so if anyone feels inspired to, that would be awesome. Ok!! Please listen and comment! It's the first song I've done in a long time! :) And it's quite short! I want to actually finish this one to a complete end. I seem to have trouble with that. I'm good at STARTING...just not finishing. So I'm gonna start focussing on finishing them.
fiery foxy
I didn't go for a ride today. I'm going for a long mountain bike ride tomorrow, and a ride the day after on my day off. But I still feel slightly guilty, because hun, aka "coach" wanted me to go today, and I convinced him to change his mind. heh heh. Ah well, as long as I do it on my day off!
We bought two house plants. One of them had a tag on it, claiming to be the "oldest known plant". It's got a bulbous pineapple-like bottom coming out of the dirt, from which springs a fern-like plant with thin, dark, spiky fronds. It DOES look pre-historic and cool. I had fun choosing a pot for it at Capital Iron. I chose a terra-cotta round one with dark blue glazed wavy bits. It fits the whole pre-historic feel of it. Our other plant fits with it quite nicely. It's also ferny. It has multiple stems that twist around each other, and each long thin leaf is edged with red. It's pretty. We put it in the green glazed pot I used to have my yellow roses in. I know I'm spending an inordinate amount of time describing this. It's just that I don't have much to talk about! Our place looks and feels sooo much nicer with the two plant additions. Buying plants is exciting! I'm a dork.
We have a new rule at work. Absolutely NO cell phones. Everyone has to surrender theirs, when they come in for a shift, and we're not even allowed to use them on our 15 min payed breaks, or when we go out for air. I HATE how controlling that is. I don't see anything wrong with using your cell phone when you're taking a break outside. I hate it when places of work start tightening their fist like that. It always makes me want to just leave. I think I DO usually end up leaving when a place gets like that. I don't even use my cell phone much at work - I'm not one of the people that is constantly taking it out of my pocket and texting and what-not...it's just the principle of the thing. There's other things they're clamping down on too. Makes me feel caged and controlled, and I don't like that. I think it's a mistake to be too much like that, if you're an employer.
I need to go out today and finally buy that belt. And a journal. I haven't written morning pages in like a week because I ran out of notebooks, so I'm in need.
4 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 12:34 PM
2.05.2010
honey I sat this morning for a long time outside a coffee shop on government st, listening to a young guy play the accordion. I love living down town! I love the old man that plays sax a block from our apartment. It floats up to my window quite nicely. I've been starting a whole bunch of new songs lately, but nothing has really "ripened" if you will. Although one in particular is promising.
Oh, also, I'm a grown-up! I've gotten approved for a visa. *gasp* - I have a credit card!!! wow.
Tonight I work a short floor-selling shift. yay! Last night was a nightmare. Something went wrong at work - majorly wrong, and we ended up having to call in the big bosses and refund like $500 worth of stuff, and it was all crazy and intense, and put us behind like 45 minutes. I didn't get out of there until 2am. Thankfully I had really good moral support, but it was still mentally exhausting. So it'll be a nice relief to be a care-free floor seller tonight. I don't gotta worry 'bout NOTHIN! woohoo! Plus it's my thursday. Always nice. I need to go out and buy a belt. It's one of those things I always need, but can never bring myself to spend money on.
It's so beautiful and sunny today, but I am exhausted. I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night. Ah well...last night while I was at work, Andreas did ALL our laundry, and I also went for a bike ride yesterday. A little longer than the first. So those are two very good things. The only annoying thing with cycling this time of year is the steady and persistent head wind I get during the first half of my ride, when I'm riding along the water. It'll make me strong, though. I enjoy the feeling of my bum working when I cycle up hill. Hehe. I have a strong buttocks! You better believe it.
So hun is %99 gonna buy the bike shop off paul. Him and his fellow bike shop manager. It's exciting. He's so full of ideas, he was MEANT to do this sort of thing. I'm going to learn how to help out in the shop too.
Ughhghgh. So tired.
3 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 1:34 PM
1.31.2010
shock treatment I got up yesterday morning BEFORE the alarm. I didn't want any huns getting up before me and spoiling the breakfast in bed. He did stir as I got up and asked me where I was going, to which I replied that I couldn't sleep. I had a hunch (and a hope) that he'd just fall back asleep - which is what he did. I actually had to look up how to make oatmeal, because the sad truth is, I've NEVER made it before. Hun is always the one making oatmeal it seems. I sprinkled dried cranberries, and a fairly healthy amount of brown sugar into the oatmeal before I added it to the boiling water. It came out great! Before I brought it to an unsuspecting sleeping hun though, I put together a playlist on grooveshark. The first song was 'happy happy birthday baby' by some unknown artist, and I had that playing loudly as I opened the door with the birthday oatmeal.
you may wonder about the oatmeal. Well, I asked him what his favourite breakfast was, and that's what he said! It's mine too, anyways. I LOVE eating oatmeal for breakfast. It feels so healthy and satisfying. And melted brown sugar on top? delicious!
Anyways, he was very happy with his breakfast in bed. We lay in bed for a bit after that, until Andreas' relatives started calling and he had to talk to them.
Later that day we went out mountain biking. It was an amazing ride for me. The thing about mountain biking is that I'm terrified 99% of the time. I'm doing things that terrify me! For example, riding over a log that drops a foot onto large round boulders, and continuing on downhill over slippery wet roots that jut out sharply and making a sharp curve downhill - not on smooth dirt, by the way, but over slippery rock, loose stones, and roots that look quite treacherous - down a set of 3 "steps" down, each about a foot, and on rough terrain. I don't know if that SOUNDS scary, but it is! Especially since when I'm doing those things, I can't use the breaks because it'll make my tyres slip, so I have to just let go and let my bike do it. It's like letting go of all control! That trail that I just described, by the way, was called "skull trail", and it was a black diamond. And I rode almost all the way down it!!! I got off only for two short times. Hun was astonished, and quite frankly so was I. In fact, during the whole entire ride I kept astonishing myself. I kept doing things and then being like..I can't believe I just did that! Because I'd do things that LOOKED impossible. My nemesis for mountain biking is making sharp turns when there's roots and rocks in the way. I have a total mind block about it. We stayed at this one part for ages, trying to get me to make this sharp turn - it was a short, steep little berm, and immediately after you make the turn there was a drop and all sorts of treachery going steeply downhill - and I kept doing it over and over again. Every time I tried, I wouldn't turn at all. It was like physically impossible for me to! I'd go perfectly straight until my tyre would reach the brush and I'd have to get off. Not an inch of a turn. But we kept doing it, and eventually a pair came riding down, and after I watched them do it, I managed to do it somehow. Watching other people mountain bike really helps me, I've discovered. Anyways. My favourite part of the ride was immediately after we came down skull trail. We went down this trail that isn't often ridden, and it was windy and smooth and hilly, with lots of berms, and you can hear a river running below you. It was tricky but I did it because I wasn't prepared for the things that came up, so I just did them, and found out that it was not only doable, but fun! That's another thing with mountain biking. Like after I finally made that turn, I just rode the rest of the trail, which was super tricky, because before I knew it I was in the middle of all the tricky stuff and so I just kept on going. I didn't have time to think about it. After I got off, a wide-eyed hun was like "..hun, what just happened?! look at what you just did!" It's an amazing feeling! I almost felt like crying.
Ok, I'm done with talking about mountain biking. Hun's great. Like I said before, he tells me I can do things so much that I just start believing him, and then I do them.
I took hun out for dinner later. We were mountain biking too long for me to take him shopping for jeans/pea coat like we had planned, so we just went straight to food. Andreas wanted Baan Thai. It was delicious, like always. He got the pad thai and I got the red curry...but I've decided that I like the pad thai the best now. It used to be curry, but Baan Thai's pad thai is just soooo yummy! It's the best I've ever had. Then we came home and watched a movie. And eventually , because unfortunately his birthday just happens to be the last day in January, and I gave my notice at the beginning of the month, we had to go over to my old place so we could give it a final clean. I ended up doing most of it though while hun took the broken mirror I was in possession of out to the wonderbread van. It was super quick. Although there was one thing of note: a slug. While sweeping, a particular corner, there was something rounded and dark sticking out. I swept at it, and out pops a fat, glistening little slug! oh my, I was soo grossed out. WHY WAS THERE A SLUG IN THERE?!?! Oh well, not my problem now. No way is a slug making it up to the second floor of our apartment.
Now muds and duds are almost here and they're going to take us out for dinner! yay! After that we're going out to Smith's pub for Andreas' birthday. Tomorrow I go back to work, early in the morning. Sigh.
2 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 4:24 PM
1.29.2010
Stand on "Stand on" by Jehro. Really good stuff. I'm listening to it right now.
I'm sweaty, because I just got back from a bike ride!! It was only a 20k one, because I'm all out of practice...but I did it! This morning I was grey and depressed (I've got the winter blues HARD lately), and I lay in bed procrastinating the moment when I'd have to get up and ride. I even got up, had some cereal, and then went back to bed. But finally, when I couldn't sleep after trying for an hour or so, I just got up and starting putting my riding clothes on. This included: cycling shorts, over which I pulled a pair of knee-length shorts. Grey tank, over which I pulled a black long-sleeved overshirt. And, on impulse, the red fuzzy leg warmers labee made me for Christmas. Then I stuffed my phone and my keys in my pocket, filled up my water bottle and was off!
It rained. But thankfully, it stopped raining. Also, there was a point where my phone flew out of my pocket as I was crossing an intersection...I had to stop and wait for traffic to go both ways before I was able to run out and grab it. It just happened that it fell in just the right spot that it didn't get run over. The phone spent the rest of the ride snugged deep in my back pocket after that incident.
So. Now I need to have a shower, and buy some groceries for hun's birthday breakfast. And some thumb tacks, so we can finally put up our m.c. escher calendar. And maybe a potted plant? we need some greenery in here!
I've finally got that huge canvas Julie got me for Christmas here. Huge and blank and promising!
Oh! I saw Avatar last night with Andreas. I was blown away. If you haven't seen it yet, go see it!
2 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 11:41 AM
1.27.2010
core I'm sooo hungry. How to stop going out to eat, when you wake up and there's never any food in the house? We are in DIRE need of groceries! Mind you...I'm going to be making a little trip to the market soon. I'm planning a breakfast in bed for Andreas on his birthday. Even if I'm working that morning (I have yet to receive the schedule for that), I'm going to get up super early and do it! I want him to start off his day feeling like it's a special day. He's turning 25. Whoa. When we met....He was 20. We weren't dating at that point, when we started dating he was 21 and I was 20, but STILL! It makes me feel like time is non-existant. Superfine dust that disappears into thin air. I think I'm also going to clean the house for him. It's getting a bit cluttered and the dishes are collecting. Why do dishes collect so freaking fast? It's like they've signed a pact against us, to make our lives difficult. Ah well, what can you do. DON'T say the obvious answer to that. I know it's what you're thinking. I'm a 'fub of bad habits! Actually, that's not completely true. There's one really good habit I've developed. I ALWAYS put my keys in the same place, and thus I never ever have to look for them. And there's also....no I'm lying. That's it.
so hungry! Speaking of habits, I've decided that I'm going to start going on my rides again. I'm getting so tired of sitting around helplessly getting chubbins. It stresses me out. I really like feeling fit and strong, and the fact that I get breathless riding to work now is a definite sign that I've slipped out of shape. The weather's been so mild, too. May as well take advantage of it. I was waiting for those rollers to come in, which Andreas PROMISED me would be here a week after he sold the bike trainer. Well...he sold the bike trainer a few days before Christmas, and the rollers still aren't here. I'm tired of waiting for them. Time to take matters into my own hands! The fact is, as soon as I struck on the idea of riding tomorrow, I immediately felt better. Excited, even. I miss my rides. Lucia's got some lovely new fenders now, too. They're German, and silver with black pinstriping down the middle.
There she is! My beautiful pink bike, I love her so :D. Yes I realize it's a weird picture of me, and I'm mid hair-flip. Just focus on the bike. You can note though, that I'm wearing a cardigan. I've become quite the cardigan wear-er. I'm pro cardigan.
4 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 10:26 AM
1.22.2010
stop calling me a prisoner My new favourite song! "Jailer" by Asa. Love it sooo much. If you don't ever take another recommendation from me, listen to this one.
I've just finished my day shift stretch at work, and tomorrow I don't work until 4:30...which means I get to sleep in tomorrow! Which feels so luxurious. I've had 2 weeks of split days off. Brutal ones, too...like, I work 4 days, get a day off, and then work 5 days. Not cool. I'm just finishing my 5 day row...I get Thursday and Friday off. The end is in sight! It's just not enough to only get one day off! I'm such a firm believer that work is bad for you. The only way in which work is good for me right now is that it forces me to socialize. And by being forced to socialize, I learn things about myself...like that I'm actually likeable.
I need a vacation though. I'm going to plan one. I just need to decide where, and who to go with.
I'm having trouble with the blogging lately. I wrote all of that stuff yesterday. Today I'm sooo tired. I woke up early with Andreas to go get coffee and a bagel at tims before he had to go to a meeting - so much for sleeping in. After we had coffee we strolled over to the mall so I could get a nice sweater for my hun. It's his birthday on Sunday, and he wanted to look nice for his meeting. We went to the Bay, and Andreas hurriedly tried a few on. He didn't get the one I really wanted him to get - soft, purple with light grey stripes across the chest...looked soo cute on him - but decided on a cable knit navy zip-up. He does really look good in old man sweaters though. So I left a hun looking good and trudged back here to the apartment, where so far, I've had a lovely warm shower and written my morning pages. I'm soo sleepy now though. I was going to go shirt shopping, because I'm in dire need of some cute shirts, but I really just want to crawl back into bed and have some blissful sleep.
I'm OFF visine! everyone is just going to have to deal with my mysterious red eye. urg.
Last night was the first meeting of me with Andreas' mom since the whole break-up messiness. She and her boyfriend Ken invited us to Pags for some live music and cheesecake. A really fun little band was playing jazzily. My favourite was the drummer. He was tall and thin with short cropped curly hair and a kind of Kevin Dobson-esque expression. He sat perfectly straight, and his torso didn't move atALL with his drumming, yet he was perfectly relaxed. Apparently on other days, so I was told, he does a funny little shoulder shrug with his drumming. This time he declined to shoulder shrug though. Me and Andreas shared a deep dish apple pie. I let Andreas choose, because it's his birthweek. Really I would have preferred their cheesecake. It's like the best cheesecake ever. The apple pie was good too though - it was super deep dish and had a thick crumble on top. Mmm. Anyways, it was fun. Kenna is really nice. She's always been nice to me.
Gonna go grab some lunchies.
4 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 9:02 AM
1.21.2010
let me inside I feel like writing this morning, but I don't know what to write about. Maybe my dream, because it was a CRAZY dream. It was an elaborate, detailed story filled with fictional characters. I was a little girl working in a shop for an old woman who gave people spa treatments - or SAID she did. Really she was luring people in and then when they were all in the "spa room", she'd get inside their heads and mess with them. She turned a certain couple into ravens. She was like this crazy witch. I didn't know she was doing this, and when I found out, the witch KNEW, and went inside my head, and made it seem like I was a 2-dimensional cartoon kitty. I was lying in the bottom of a sink. She then filled the sink with water, and buried me under tons of 2-dimensional cartoon fish, suffocating and drowning me at the same time. In my dream I woke up in a country lane miles away, drenched, with people reviving me.
Weird, huh? I have messed up dreams.
Yesterday I didn't find any yoga clothes to my liking, but I also didn't try very hard. I ended up buying some pleasing knee socks and leg warmers from flavour. I really need more cute skirts and I definitely need tons of tops. Living back at the apartment is frustrating, because most of my clothes are still at my old place. I'm wearing the same outfits a lot. Too boring. Why does loving clothes have to have such a negative connotation? I LOVE clothes, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's part of creating your image, which is a creative exercise (thus the word "creating")! It's fun and satisfying, and you can bet that the clothes you wear send off waves of energy that affect you and the people around you. Colours! Textures! Shapes! There's so much to play with. Just sayin!
I keep forgetting to mention on here that I got my hair cut last week. Just trimmed and thinned and edged up a little. It's really nice. My hair was becoming so mop-like. Now when it dries after I have a shower, I notice a lot more wave. And who doesn't love wave? I freaking love wave. It's funny that I love my hair so much now. It's just one thing I didn't like for ages growing up. It's nice liking things about yourself. It gives me a content feeling in the pit of my stomach.
3 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 9:50 AM
1.20.2010
when I was a child This song. IS AMAZING. "Spiracle" by Soap and Skin. It's this girl from Australia who produces all her own stuff. all the instruments, everything. She's only 17. soooo good. Beautiful. 'fub you'd love it but don't necessarily look it up, because I'm including it on a cd for you. Eryn it's right up your alley too, I think.
SO MUCH GOOD MUSIC LATELY. An influx, if you will. I have to write about it. On top of Soap and Skin, there's "Plastic Jungle" by Mike Snow, which is fun, there's a band called Low Anthem...a rather folksy band, and quite pleasing. I also found another good Blitzen Trapper song (which is amazing. so much of their stuff is just noise, but then they come up with these random, really good songs.) - "Black River Killer". Also, The Duckworth Lewis Method. they have lots of fun stuff, one of my faves being "The Age of Revolution". I don't know if anyone ever pays much mind to these music recommendations, but if you do, lemme know! I'd love to know if i've helped to spread good music.
I haven't had a chance to go out mountain biking since the last time I wrote, but hopefully I'll be able to go tomorrow or the next day. I have to say, that yes, it IS scary - mountain biking takes me totally out of my element, rips me right out of my safe, known world, puts me in a position I've never been in before, and don't know how to deal with. I'm normally a very safe person. I don't take risks, especially physically (excepting the time I jumped off a 70 ft cliff with roland and evan and had my boob exposed accidentally). So this is AWESOME. I am so proud of myself for doing it. Every new development I do, every time I just go and ride something I didn't think possible for me to ride before, it fills me with this incredible feeling. The most incredible high I've ever felt. The most ALIVE I've ever felt. So yes. You could say it's "fun". That's an apt word.
One thing that's cool about mountain biking is that your bike can take you up, down and around things you couldn't walk. You're out in a beautiful mossy forest, riding over logs, through small streams, across wooden bridges, over and around big slanted outcroppings of stone. It's very interactive with nature. There was a raven out last time we went. We kept hearing him as we rode, because the air was so still in the forest that his wings would make a reverberating sound like a helicopter.
That's my piece about mountain biking. It's not all hardcore downhill suicidal drops and what not. Most of the time i'm actually going rather slowly. I can't wait to visit other places and ride other trails. It's so nice to live in a place with the best mountain biking trails in the world. So many possibilities :D
I'm going shopping today. Non rent paycheck, you see. I'm going to see about getting some yoga clothes.
4 comments
bum.by.the.sea posted @ 10:50 AM