I wish I didn't write what I did on my last post. It's not how I truly feel, it was only a passing mood. Why must I always write things I regret like that? It's a tick. It's a matter of being conscious while I write and having a clear idea of what I want to communicate, which I rarely do... I didn't read any one's comments before I deleted the post, because I'm sure they would only have embarrassed me more.
Since I wrote last, I have had many an uplifting and revitalizing experience - almost as if to prove to myself how wrong I had been in putting myself down. I have been progressing in meditating since I started to finally count my breath. Nothing else has been so successful in holding my attention for extended periods. So I've been able to have extended periods of revitalizing meditation often during the day - especially at work, where it has been most of the time very slow. The effect has been golden and magical. When I'm tired at work, I picture being bathed in brilliant light, the whole room being bathed in it, and myself breathing it in. It gives me a beautiful energy and keeps me from getting drained..in fact, my interactions with people are much more open, relaxed, natural and grounded...and I feel buoyant. Yay meditation. :D
On to Christmas! It was exceedingly stormy on Christmas Eve. The rain was 'sheeting', if you will. At work it was really dead. The girl who was working the adventure tours half of the building told me I could leave anytime i wanted because it was so dead and she knew that I had to drive over the summit. (Another thing I've noticed with meditating more like I have been, is that fortuitous events seem to happen way more often!) So, just like that I went from having to work until 5:30, to getting to leave at 2. It set the tone for an exciting Christmas to be set suddenly free like that. So Shawn came and got me and we were on our way within half an hour. The roads were dry and empty. Right at the summit of Sutton pass, someone had gone out of their way to place reindeer at random intervals at the sides of the highway. One was out in the middle of a swamp, one was up in a tree, etc. By the time we had reached Cathedral Grove it was twilight, and the empty roads gave a definite magical, Christmas Eve-y feel to the air.
We stopped in Parksville to drop off our Furry Bun, (the one with the striped orange tail)change, and grab a quick bite of Christmas Eve Tortiere. Shawn's parent's house was all lit up and festive and the mood was celebratory. They hadn't been expecting us nearly so soon, because Shawn hadn't let them know I had been let off. Meanwhile, Shawn was nervous because I had just told him about the candle ceremony, and he was picturing caroling door-to-door at strangers' houses. haha...er, NO. I am quite glad we don't carol that way...anyways, he did find out, just as I told him, that it all was not such a big deal. And the feeling is always so special when we do the candle ceremony, most people always end up sharing something, even if they're shy. My favourite moment was Elizabeth's exuberant outburst when she had the candle. And the Mudsy song, of course. Mom does not understand that it's perfect every time she sings it.
Back in Pville after all that, (which, I can't forget to mention how tasty the 'rogies that Stott made were)me and Shawn sat around the table and talked with France, his mom, who was up drinking some chamomile tea to help her stomach for awhile until she went to bed, and then we finished wrapping presents. I only had one to wrap, which I did as fast as possible, and then I threw myself into bed and was passed out in seconds.
The next thing, it was Christmas morning. Me and Shawn cuddled in bed for awhile, hearing his parents moving about making coffee and things in the kitchen. It was still dark out when we made our entrance into the kitchen for our own cups of coffee.
We drank our coffee and talked and the mood was high. Shawn rearranged the living room so that the love seat faced the couch with the coffee table in between, so we could all face each other. In his family, they take turns wearing the Santa hat - whoever wears it, passes out the presents. This year it was France. Both me and Shawn got very spoiled...I feel as if I especially did. Shawn's parents got me a HUGE amount of brushes...of all shapes and sizes. I will never have to buy brushes, ever again. I got beautiful clothes this year as well, an abundance of them. Shawn's parents got us a new duvet and duvet cover, which we were in desperate need of. Shawn got me the most lovely bracelet with bronze-y fresh water pearls, and a cute necklace of blue and turquoise glass beads, and a luscious sweater, and the cutest shirt of purple, with a boat neck and dandelions on it, who's stems look like dancing silhouettes of women. I also got a herbal bible from Shawn's parents...and a lot more that would probably bore people to tears to read, if I listed it all. I must mention the present that Laura got me and Shawn though, two super cute shirts,an awesome leather braided bracelet, a Christmassy egg of spearmint chapstick, and (for Shawn) The Charlie Brown Christmas..soundtrack AND the movie! This totally ended up being the theme underlying our Christmas day. We listened to it while opening presents, and during dinner, and in between we watched the movie. It was my first time watching the movie and I LOVED it.
I was only able to afford a few things for Shawn...some sturdy but fluffy slippers - the kind you can step outside in - and surf gloves which he was in desperate need of. He was super stolked, which, actually, he is the most true-hearted gift receiver I have ever met. It does not matter if you paint him a picture, get him something super pratical and necessary (in other words,
boring) or spend a lot of money on something "nice" - he makes you feel so good for whatever it is. He has taught me a lot about love, and being loving. Shucks...
It was such a beautiful Christmas this year. To have Mudsy n' Pops back for it was special. I am so happy to have lived and taken part in it.